She's Taken Another Spill...

Well she's been wearing a heart monitor for nearly a week, we return it tomorrow.  The we'll get some more results to rule out or rule in what's going on with mom...

Yesterday, we went to 11am Mass... she was a bit ticked because she likes the 9:30am Mass but I've taken her the last 3 weeks.  For those of you who don't know, I've had some real life challenges in the past two years and my faith has been shaken... I am seeing the footprints and when there are only one set, they're mine... not God's carrying me... I am alone and feel it sometime it hurts... so I have fallen away from the Catholic church for more reasons than one... a life long church goer, I've stopped going.  Reasons can be another couple of posts but this blog is to deal with my mom and her path with dementia... and so...

When I came home from work and started prepping for dinner, mom came into the kitchen and took a seat at the island.

We began talking and she shared with me that she had taken another 'spill' today... coming down the steps.  She fell while on the 2nd step from the top and fell to the landing... Luckily my staircase turns at a 90 degree angle and she did not fall down nearly a full set of steps.  OMG!!! 

She was holding her ribs but I did check and don't believe any bones were broken.  I think the stiffness is muscular but OMG... what next?  I told her I was concerned with this, the 3rd spill in as many weeks...

First one was in the kitchen, she fell over the trashcan and landed on the floor, luckily I was here, heard her and was here to help her up.

Second one was in her room... she exited the bed on the opposite side where she sleeps... the side closer to the wall with the radiator... and fell as she got near the end of the bed... into the boxes she's stacked up in her room... thank God they were there she said, they helped break her fall.

And now, the third fall today while coming down the steps... I asked if she had anything in her hands, just the cane she said... I asked if she was holding on the handrail, yes she said.... 

I wrote to my sister and brothers to let them know... things are deteriorating, they are... and I am amazed at how quickly it's unfolding right before my eyes.

Is this how it progresses? So quickly?  I will tell the family doctor when we do our follow up on the 28th, it may be time to start a new med to help with the dementia.

The Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy and Visiting Nurse will end this week... and a Speech Therapist will come by this week as well... Mom sometimes can't get the words to come out...

Ah... if anyone has dealt with this, how did you handle this?  Are there support groups that caregivers of parents with dementia available?  What is it called?  Any good websites out there that help?

I know, no one is reading this... but at least I am getting it out of my system and keeping this blog as a reference and diary so to speak.  Documenting the mundane and crazy all in one...  

Dear Lord, please spare me the loss of my mind... I have always placed an importance on education and continually learn, I consider myself a life learner... and am very proud of the fact that NO ONE can take that away from me, except God... and it sure looks like he's doing that with my mom... a woman who was so intelligent, fashionable and ahead of her time... and this disease is taking her away slowly but surely... it's sad.


#elderlycare #momsmovedin #eldercare #dimentia #needhelpwithmom #lovemom #growingoldwithdignity  #ilovemom  #missingmom #watchingmomgoaway

That House Across The Street...

Has the same rooms as this one.
Has the same furniture, sofa & love seat... but not these chairs, they are different.
Has the same chairs as the dining room...

It's funny, it's just like this one.

When am I going over there?

You're not mom, you live here...

Really? 

Yup... now let's get you upstairs and ready for bed.

She's up there dusting her room right now... when will she go to bed?

#takingcareofmom #elderlycare #momsmovedin #momneedshelp #momsgettingold #dementia #caringformom #caringformom #caregiversupport

Sandwiched Generation...

Here I am!

I knew there was a name for those of us middle-aged people caring for a parent over 65 and caring for an over 18 child financially at some point.

That's me...

Hoping when my time comes that I am cared for by a family member too... but it ain't easy my friends, it ain't easy.

Any advice?

#sandwichedgeneration #sandwiched-generation #caringformom #agingparents

It Has Come to This... My Dear Mom Letter!

As much as it pains me to have to do this, I believe providing this to mom in writing will better help her understand how important it is that she stop driving at the ripe old age of 83...  

My sister wanted all of my siblings to provide her something to include in a letter and she'd give to mom. When I sent this along, she replied,  

"Wow.  That is awesome.  I would keep that as your own to her.  There is no need to incorporate it at all.  It is powerful all by itself."  

So here it goes, my open letter to mom and driving...  

Dear Mom,  

The mom that raised me was a very intelligent, loving and kind woman who always put the other person ahead of herself when dealing with people.  Because of you and your excellent example, I have grown into such a person.    

With regard to driving at the age of 83 and your current ability, mental capacity and health factors, I am opposed to you driving for many reasons, the foremost of which is your safety and the safety of others.  

Recent health problems have seen you have 3 episodes in a 6 week period of time that required a call to 9-1-1 and hospitalization.  The episodes come on without any warning, so preventing them and predicting them is impossible.  It is my belief that should you be behind the wheel of a car when one of these episodes suddenly, and without warning, comes on, you would be a danger to not only yourself but others as the vehicle would quickly turn from a mode of transportation and 'freedom' to an out of control, destructive vehicle of death that would take away any 'freedom' you may have.  

The driver's license issue will be determined after a six month period of time with an assessment of both your mental and physical health.  If after six months both have not improved tremendously, I would very much appreciate your reconciling your thoughts and feelings to the fact that you are no longer a safe driver and everyone, including you, would be better served if you voluntarily gave up your driving privileges.  

Doing so will gain my support and that of others to bring you out on planned trips to and from stores or friends or social engagements.  

I do this with heavy heart, as it means that you are deteriorating both mentally and physically but I do this with love because you are deserving of dignity, respect and safe keeping.  I want nothing but the best for you and promise to do whatever makes you happy as long as it is not in any way harmful to you.   

Love always, 

Me  

So have you ever had to experience this with your aging parent? 

How did you handle it? 

Did it go over well? 

Would you have done anything differently? 

#elderlycare  #momsgettingold  #caringformom #eldercare  #dimentia #agingparent #helpingmomagegracefully

Post Hospital Stays Follow Ups...

Ah, it's time for all of the post hospital stays follow up....

Dr. Appt with family doctor, check!

He'll have to do some follow ups with the hospitals to see what tests were done as the discharge papers didn't indicate tests and we're trying to figure out if it's a heart thing or a neurological thing.

I have as many to do's as he does!

• Make appointment with cardiologist for follow up to hospital stay and heart monitor.
• Occupational therapist coming today.
• Physcial therapist coming today.
• Visiting nurse needs to call and schedule a visit.
• Reduce aspirin to a baby aspirin v. the adult one prescribed in the hospital, doctor afraid of internal bleeding coming back.
• Oh, symptoms to watch for with bleeding.... feint - no dizzyness, tired, blood in stool, etc... Whoo hoo!

And more...

Being in the sandwiched generation isn't for the feint of heart...  just getting out from under the kids and now it's time for the parental care....

Can't wait to get away in a few weeks....

#takingcareofmom  #elderlycare  #careformom  #parentalcare  #gettingold  #respectyourelders