As much as it pains me to have to do this, I believe providing this to mom in writing will better help her understand how important it is that she stop driving at the ripe old age of 83...
My sister wanted all of my siblings to provide her something to include in a letter and she'd give to mom. When I sent this along, she replied,
"Wow. That is awesome. I would keep that as your own to her. There is no need to incorporate it at all. It is powerful all by itself."
So here it goes, my open letter to mom and driving...
Dear Mom,
The mom that raised me was a very intelligent, loving and kind woman who always put the other person ahead of herself when dealing with people. Because of you and your excellent example, I have grown into such a person.
With regard to driving at the age of 83 and your current ability, mental capacity and health factors, I am opposed to you driving for many reasons, the foremost of which is your safety and the safety of others.
Recent health problems have seen you have 3 episodes in a 6 week period of time that required a call to 9-1-1 and hospitalization. The episodes come on without any warning, so preventing them and predicting them is impossible. It is my belief that should you be behind the wheel of a car when one of these episodes suddenly, and without warning, comes on, you would be a danger to not only yourself but others as the vehicle would quickly turn from a mode of transportation and 'freedom' to an out of control, destructive vehicle of death that would take away any 'freedom' you may have.
The driver's license issue will be determined after a six month period of time with an assessment of both your mental and physical health. If after six months both have not improved tremendously, I would very much appreciate your reconciling your thoughts and feelings to the fact that you are no longer a safe driver and everyone, including you, would be better served if you voluntarily gave up your driving privileges.
Doing so will gain my support and that of others to bring you out on planned trips to and from stores or friends or social engagements.
I do this with heavy heart, as it means that you are deteriorating both mentally and physically but I do this with love because you are deserving of dignity, respect and safe keeping. I want nothing but the best for you and promise to do whatever makes you happy as long as it is not in any way harmful to you.
Love always,
Me
So have you ever had to experience this with your aging parent?
How did you handle it?
Did it go over well?
Would you have done anything differently?
#elderlycare #momsgettingold #caringformom #eldercare #dimentia #agingparent #helpingmomagegracefully
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