Closing in on Placing Mom's House on the Market

Have to share this incident with you that happened this weekend with Mom.  I wonder if anyone else has had such an experience with their aging parent.

On Friday, I had 'Sunshine Hours' at work.  This is during the summer, we extend our normal daily hours Monday through Thursday so we can take a half day on Friday.  It's not every week, we get to do this five weeks out of 10 weeks during the summer.

On a side note, and for reference, my husband went to Johns Hopkins' for their pain management treatment and will be there for the next six weeks.  You read that right, SIX weeks.  He left this past Thursday and should be back home at the end of September.  Anyhow... back to this week's incident...

Since hubby's away, the banking is left up to me.  He still gets his worker's comp payment in check format for a myriad of reasons.  This necessitates me doing the banking in his absence.  Mind you, I hardly ever step foot in a bank as most, if not all of my banking is done electronically.

Once I got home, I saw the check arrived and proceeded to 'do the banking'.  

Once done, I decided to take a spin by mom's house since the garage work should have been completed by now.  We had a new cement trough and two new garage doors installed to make it presentable.  Front was painted, still need to do the side... it looks so much better than it did.

When I turned onto her street, not only was mom's car in the driveway, but my older brother's car was there too.  I stopped.

Fast forward to Friday, 4pm and mom ready to leave but wanted to stop for a milkshake... I found that she had not eaten anything so I suggested we head to a local place to get some grub.  By the time we were finished and reenergized, it was just after 5pm.  There was no way mom would be driving back to my sister's place on a Friday in the summer at rush hour... NO WAY!  I had her come to my place until rush hour passed.  Called and left message for my sister letting her know my plan.

7pm, it's getting late...Mom's energy diminished and she was relaxing while Jeopardy was on.  I nudged her to get ready to head back 'home' to my sisters since it would be dark soon.  One thing mom does not do is drive in the dark... headlights bother her eyes.  Finally at 7:45pm I got her to rise and head to her car.

She backed out of the driveway but instead of turning towards the main road to head to my sisters, she went in the opposite direction.  Even though I was waving my arms like an airline ground crew member directing a plane into a gate, I waved her in the direction of the main road.  Mom waved back, goodbye!

By 9:30pm I was tired and headed to bed.  At 10:30pm, dear sister called saying where's mom? Is she at your house?  Mind you, unlike me a homebody, on Fridays sis and hubby head out to their regular watering hole and unwind from their work week.  That's about 6 hours of unwinding... and she is rather bossy to begin with!  Her household is louder than mine... they tend to have heated discussions and short tempers.  I could hear her hubby saying, "Her bed's cold and never been slept in.  The car's not on the street! Where did she go?"

About 20 minutes later, my sister after leaving a voicemail for my brother to see if mom ventured to his house, called me back to say she talked to mom... she was at her house.

Holy Crapola!  Our minds began to think of her off the road in a ravine or something. Thank God she's alright.

Needless to say, my sister lit into mom and mom, in her fashion, hung up on her because she didn't need to nor wanted to listed to my sister drop the F'bomb' left and right!

I called mom and told her we were concerned and she needs to let us know if she's going to steer in another direction (pun intended, sorry it's lame) than the planned route.  She apologized and didn't even give that a thought.

Not that mom has said anything, but I get the feeling her stay at my sister's is anything but optimal.  Heck, as we cleaned out her closets and a couple of drawers with her remaining clothes yesterday mom looked at me when all was empty and said, "I think I may come back here and stay, I kinda like it here!"

OMG!  We cracked up laughing!

#elderlycare, #takingcareofmom, #agingparents, #raisingmom

Annual Summer Vaca With My Brohter's Family

Every August, my younger brother and his family head down to Avalon, NJ for their summer vacation.
Every year, they always have welcomed us to come for a few days.
I usually bring my mother along, this year was no different.

I worked until 3pm on Wednesday (from home) and closed up shop so I could pick up mom from my sister's house... her current abode.   After stopping at the bank, I drove to my sister's and picked up mom.

Hubby had a treatment on Wednesday and we're awaiting Johns Hopkins' call for him to head down there for his 6 week stint to adjust his meds so he decided to stay home this year.

My daughter and her kids, my other daughter and her friend and me and mom all descended upon my brother, his wife and family at their vacation house.

Weather was picture perfect and we spent Thursday on the beach.  Water was wonderful, low tide and we were out far enough to the sandbar and found tons of seashells that far out while being only up to our ankles in water.

Mom did not join us for the beach day, deciding instead to stay at home and catch up on her Agatha Christie book.  I think she was enjoying the peace and quiet with us all at the beach.  Can't blame her.

Later in the afternoon, we did some antique shopping but alas, the mirror I wanted was no longer in the shop... I saw it last year and had secretly hoped that no one had purchased it so I could bargain them down on the price.  It would have been perfect in my kitchen eating area on the wall.... beveled round mirror, off white beadboard similar to the beadboard that surrounded the eating area and a couple of shelves that I could display some type of awesome art or nicknacks.... Ah, it was not meant to be.

I noticed how mom trailed behind... a little slower than in previous years, but meandering nonetheless.  After our antique shop, we met up with my daughter and her friend and went to another shop that includes multiple vendors' items within it.

We shopped, said Isn't this nice about 1000 times and headed back to the house for dinner.

All of us crowded around the kitchen table and played this really politically incorrect game known as Cards Against Humanity and laughed our asses off as we made awful sentences with the cards.  All in all, we had a lot of fun and it will create some fun memories of time spent with Nana (mom).

Thursday saw mom and I heading down to Cape May and Washington Street Mall for some shopping.  We hadn't been there for a couple of years so it was nice to spend the afternoon walking from shop to shop looking at the merchandise.

Mom is a little bit slower and not as 'with it' as she's been in the past and sometimes I found myself cringing and saying to myself, OMG... but I persisted and thought I'd rather have to be with her and be more patient than to have do walk the mall myself.

Towards the end of our shopping trip, I could see mom starting to tire so we decided to grab some grub and get some energy.  Ended up getting a hot dog, chips and soda... just enough to get some wind beneath our wings.  By the time we were finished, it was nearly time to get back to the car to beat the meter maid.

As we got up, mom still had her drink but only one strap of her pocketbook made it over her shoulder.  She had a napkin in the other hand and was attempting to correct the strap when she dropped her soda and it spilled on the ground right next to another customer.

The gentleman was very nice and luckily nothing went on him, however, mom was apologetic.  I tried to coax her out of the eating area and towards the car...

I begin to see and notice little things that cumulatively are showing her age progression.  She's not as steady on her feet, she speaks really softly, shes slower than in the past and she needs to have things repeated... and sometimes she forgets that she already knew what we already talked about.

I do my best to give her the respect, dignity and time she deserves.  Afterall, she was very patient with me while bringing me up, I need to do the same as our roles are reversing and her needs increase.

Anyone else have stories they can share about the transition they went through while watching their parent(s) age?  Thoughts, ideas and comments welcomed.