Arrangements had been made to move mom from my home to her new 'apartment'. I have such mixed feelings.
I know it's what is best for her. She needs better care and a place where they can have her do activities. I hope this Assisted Living facility does her some good. It's a beautiful facility.
I am afraid that this move from my home may be the start of another rapid decline.
She's going to be placed in the memory care section because she wouldn't be able to navigate the facility on her own and she'll get the extra care that comes with that unit.
It's pretty expensive too, but is on a month-to-month rental with 30 day notice of leaving.
My sister assures us that mom has sufficient funds to see her through at least 2 years before any assets need to be tapped into... It's kinda like placing a bet that she'll move onto that spirit in the sky before her money runs out. That's how these places operate... pay as you go... pay to play... pay from your own pocket... and when the well is dry, out you must go.
Ah, who knows... I wish I felt better having her leaving my home. I wish I didn't feel like I failed her. I wish I could have given her more. I wish her a happy life in her new home, her 'apartment'.
Perhaps I will be greatly surprised.
I don't know how I feel about this. My siblings are all in agreement that mom needs to be moved along to a facility that can give her a level of care that my husband and I cannot.
We've checked out the places. They are expensive. But my sister insists that she could be in the place we are leaning towards for at least two years before assets need to be touched. Really? Still do not know how long she can remain in the pay-as-you-go facility. Will she outlive her funds? Then what?
The front funnel has reached out to my brother and let him know they are holding a room for mom, but only until tomorrow. Yikes!!!
I am so concerned that moving her will cause another rapid decline and she'll do poorly. But that is beyond my control... so much of what concerns me is beyond my control... my son's heroin addiction, my husbands RSD/CRPS pain, my mom's journey with dementia...ugh.
Well a decision will need to be made, and from the sounds of it, soon!
Prayers requested.
#APlaceForMom #Dementia #HelpWithMom #ILoveMom.
Lately mom has been insistent on going home...
But this home is her childhood home on McKinley Street in the Wyssinoming neighborhood of Philly. She wants to see her mom and dad.
Recently, she was a bit sad and said she wished her family would call or visit. When I asked who she wanted to call, she said Jerry. My uncle Jerry was my Godfather. He died well over a decade ago after a bout with cancer.
I had to explain that nana and pop pop were long gone as were all her brothers and their wives. Maybe, Uncle Bud was still around but I have no idea as he never kept in touch.
This morning, as I was bringing laundry downstairs, I decided to go through the boxes of things I brought home from mom's house when we put it on the market. Mostly pictures that no one wanted. I tend to treasure these images of old as they are our history.
At this point, I don't know who all the folks are in the pictures, and doubt I ever will because mom has progressed in her dementia and doesn't recall who all the folks are. However, I do know some of the folks from the past.
When mom talks about where she'd like to go, most of the time it surrounds her family when she was younger. When I speak of my dad, I sometimes get a blank stare in return, like my dad is a stranger to her.
So back to the laundry and pictures...
I decided to bring up her wedding album. I left it on my dining room table planning to sit with her and go through it, but she came upon it herself and started to look through it.
After noticing her looking through the album, I said what do you think? Who are these people? She had a big smile on her face and said mom, dad and me. When we flipped the page I asked who these two folks were and she said Franny (my dad's bestman) and I asked and the other guy? She said Bill.
After looking through the album, she said I wish I had a magnifying glass... and as if in a Disney Princess Movie, I made a magnifying glass appear. Oh, she was so happy to see it so she could study the pictures... and study she did.
When she was finished looking at them, she stood up, walked a few steps and was in another space of her own. I asked her if she was okay and she said, that last half hour has brought on so many things and I just don't know how to explain it... so many wonderful memories, I just loved it!
She showered, dressed and returned to the dining room to look at all the pictures once again.
I just love seeing her take it all in and be happy.
Love you mom, miss you too.
Back to the laundry for me for real.
#dementia #byemom #missyoumom #takingcareofmom #wherehasmomgone #aginggracefully #respectyourelders #timeinabottle
