God Help Me!

God help me!

Help me to get patient. 

Patient with mom.

Mom's had a walker for about 5 weeks now, but in actual usage, about 2.5 weeks.  That's because she's been in and out of hospitals and nursing homes so much over the last 5 weeks.

I must tell her about 70 times a day, when you are up walking, you need to have your walker in your hands so you do not fall.  You fell and fractured your pelvis so now you MUST use a walker EVERY time you walk so you don't fall again and do more damage to yourself.

And everytime she gets up, she walks right past her walker and walks!!! ARGH!!!  I am about ready to hand cuff it to her wrist!

I am now at the point where I am not telling her, not saying to her, I am just about YELLING it at her!  

And I hate that.

She gets frustrated with me as I get frustrated with her.

Please God, help me.   Help me to get patient.  Patient with mom.

Anyone out there experience this and can offer a few words of encouragement or suggestions?

#dementiaistakingmomaway  #dementia #caringformom #momneedshelp #adultcare #seniorcare #caregiver #helpforcaregivers #ilovemom #momisdisappearing #livingwithmom #livingwithdementia

Our 'Spill' Luck Ran Out...

Lots has happened since my last post....
it's been a crazy busy past two weeks.

Hubby and I finally got to get away for a week's visit to his brother & wife's place in FL.  We had a very relaxing time and got to see lovely places in the Fort Myers area.  We even had the chance to pick up a rental car at the airport mid-week and drive Alligator Alley to the East Coast and get a visit in with my Uncle and a few cousins...  An extremely good trip and extremely needed... we were both feeling the 'pain' of caretaking.

Well while we were away, my older brother and his 2nd wife, decided at nearly the last minute to care for mom at their house.  I believe I wrote about my dilemma of where to put mom while we got away for a much needed break... When I purchased our airline tickets, I put an all-hands email out for volunteers to let mom stay with them... but only one 'immediate' bite, which came from my daughter, the nurse.

She had lived with mom for about 5 years before getting married and buying her own place.  She saw the small little declines in mom's behavior over that 5 year period.  She wanted mom to come to her house.  (I had hoped she'd come and stay here so mom would have the familiar surroundings but hubby said NO! I don't want her in this house! (he was at the breaking point).  He's regretted that since our return, saying I guess you (me) were right, if she had stayed here and Lisa came here, this probably wouldn't have happened... it's my fault... <-- NOTE: it's NOT his fault what happened but as his disease has done with so much else in our lives, he turns EVERYTHING into 'his fault'...

Wait!  What?  Wait what? What wouldn't have happened???

Aha, the crux of the 'so much has happened in the last 2 weeks or so' hint above.

As faithful readers know (are there any of you out there?), mom had been in and out of hospitals recently... up until this point, it was about 8 weeks and 6 hospital trips, with the latest being the shopping 911 call and then back into the hospital within 3 hours of being released from that trip...

So it may or may not surprise you to find out that while hubby and I were away mom had not one but two hospital ER visits and was transferred to a trauma hospital... so if you are trying to keep count... three hospitals, two ER visits in one week... the week we were away.

Keeping up via text messages on what was going on while I was away was a bit unnerving but it served multiple purposes...

• I could not be there in person to handle it... as I am most often the ONLY one that leaves work or whatever I am doing and sit at the hospital while test after test are done...
• Someone else would have to play that role
• My brother and his wife got to experience some of what my hubby and I deal with on a regular basis (but don't complain about it, at least not until the very end when we were burnt out and needed a break)
• My hubby has gained a #1 Fan in my brother... stating it's not fair to hubby and hubby needs breaks from this constant care-giving.
• And a few more...

First trip to the ER occurred on Tuesday afternoon.  Mom had a trip to the doctor's office on Monday evening, she had a UTI and blood work was done.  Results showed blood count was 6.3.  It should be in the 13.something range... so after trying to contact the folks up here, the doctor's office called my home # and left a vm... and called my cell phone and left a vm.

I was swimming and when I came out, my brother-in-law told me my phone was making all kinds of noises.  I looked and saw I had a vm, and when I saw the #, I knew it was the doctor's # and redialed straight away without listening to the vm.

Doctor wanted her taken to ER immediately, no need to call ambulance but take her and say 'this' so she will be taken back right away and not sit in the waiting room.  Luckily my daughter, the nurse, and my younger brother were both at my brother's house visiting my mom and were able to take mom to ER...

She was admitted, given blood and endoscopy to cauterize an internal bleed.

Thursday she was ready for release but no one could pick her up until after work... Again, Lisa to the rescue, she offers and picks up mom takes her to her house for the day and when my brother and his wife get home, they pick her up and bring her back to their place.  Thursday evening, around dinner time.

I have to add, mom was not sleeping well at night and would be up wandering around their split level home during the night... this was very trying on everyone there; my brother, his wife, his daughter and her fiancee.  And she did start to wander at night in recent weeks at our house too, but not every night and we'd coax her back to bed... she never remembered this in the mornings.

Friday night, around 2 am, she was in their living room and fell.  Apparently she was thirsty and wanted tea.  Went downstairs, in the dark, got her tea and either fell then broke the tea cup and spilled the tea or dropped the tea cup, broke it then fell... we don't know the order but end result was mom on the floor, tea cup broke and tea spilled all over.  Required a change of clothes and wrestling with her to go to bed.

She did not complain when they tried to get her up and walk back to bed, however, when she awakened at 6:30 am she was trying to walk downstairs and her grunts and grinches of pain led my brother and his wife to believe something was drastically wrong... a call to 911.

After being taken to the ER and Xrays revealed a fractured pelvic bone, she was transported to another 'trauma' hospital on Saturday morning.

Long story... I know... and I will try to shorten it a bit.

Hubby and I returned home Saturday, the same morning Pope Francis arrived in Philly for the World Meeting of Families, can you say Secret Service Security??? Not too bad at the airport, His Holiness arrived two hours before we did.

It took me from Monday until Thursday at dinner time to find a place for mom for rehab that could accommodate supervision and a gluten free diet....

Who would have thought...

I finally got to see mom yesterday afternoon in the new place.. I'll pick up there on the next post... needless to say, there was a wee bit of drama...

#elderlycare #momsmovedin #eldercare #dimentia #needhelpwithmom #lovemom #growingoldwithdignity  #ilovemom  #missingmom #watchingmomgoaway