Mom's Happy Room Almost There...

I know, it's taken a loooonnnnngggg time!

But, I am further along than I have ever been.

I painted the ceiling and primed the walls yesterday.  Today, I followed that up with painting the walls.  Still need to paint the crown molding, trim and baseboard... that will come in time.... maybe next weekend's chore.

It's a bright yellow, that's what Mom wanted...

a H-A-P-P-Y room, and it is...

especially since it's been so gray this weekend,

the room radiates warmth and sunshine!

Can't wait to begin layering and decorating the room.

It will be spectacular for her.  So exciting!

I'll add a pic or two later, if I can.

Why Does My Sister and Brother Insist on Doing Things Behind Mom's Back?

There's a few things left at mom's house.

My sister just wrote to me and said she was going to have mom stay at her house tonight so my brother could go and put some things out in the trash.... and asked if I could get the 'Goodwill' boxes over to Goodwill this weekend without her knoweing... b/c she'll want to go through them again.

Honestly, I don't have any issues going thru the boxes with mom again.... afterall, I went thru them with her the first time.... and we decided they were either too big or too old....

Yes, mom keeps thinking these are things she wanted to keep, but they are not... and I think including mom in this decision is important b/c she doesn't know what happened to a lot of stuff and it's disconcerting to her.

This time, when we go through the box, we'll make sure to bring them right away to Goodwill to donate so she doesn't have to remember if they are keeps or giveaways.

Friends out there in Internet land, have you struggled with this type of thing and how did you handle it?

#elderlycare #momsmovedin #parentalcare #momsinthehouse #careforparents #howtohandleagingparents #agingparents

Ugh! Some Adjustments Are Needed

I think everyone knows that when a parent picks up and moves in with their grown, adult children after 35+ years apart, there's going to be some adjustments needed when the household combines into one home.

I mean, come on, it's a given.

What's not typical is that the 'in-law' (my hubby) has been on disability for 23+ years,  is in pain, recently went through a hospital stay of 6+ weeks to ween him from his Dr. prescribed narcotics over the years, and is just a tad bit difficult to live with when he's in pain.

I get it, it sucks to be in pain, but really?

He's short with me, our son and now mom... 

When we were pre-injury and young, my parents helped us out all the time with basic necessities... my mom helped us so much.... I owe so much, excuse me, WE owe so much to her and her generosity over the years whether it was time, money or talent, she was and is always there for us.  

As such, I don't belive she owes us one thing and the rest of her life should be filled with peace and enjoyment.

Yes, mom has some habits that differ from ours... for example, she hangs the kitchen towels from the drawers instead of the dishwasher or oven handles like we do... no biggie, I just take them off the drawer, fold them and place them on the appliance handles... DONE! OVER! FINISHED!.... not with my hubby.

 

He has to complain that she keeps putting them on the drawer... why can't she put them back where she got them?

Or another of his pet peeves, when mom 'washes' the dishes that are in the sink and lays them on a towel on the coutner to dry... he hates when things are left on the counter oh, and it doesn't help that they are not washed fully... i.e. little lipstick on the glasses.... OMG!  You would think that she killed his favorite toy!  I simply let her do it and later come back and load the stuff into the dishwasher... I often suggest just place it in the dishwasher but oh well, for over 80+ years habits become hard to break.

Dear readers, have any of you ever run into a situation like this and HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO SURVIVE IT?  I honestly am ready to throw in the towel vs. hanging it on the drawer or hanging it on one of the appliances!!!!!

#elderlycare #seniorcare #agingparents #toomanycooksinthekitchen #adjustingtomom #livingwithmom

What?

I am sure I am not alone in this taking care of your parent situation but
has anyone else in this situation been driven nuts by a constant barrage of
What?...

What?...

What?....

I've told mom several times that she needs to get a hearing aid because 
everytime I say something, she says... 'What?'

And I have to repeat myself...

And it's just the start of my having to repeat myself...

God, give me the strength and humor to continue down this path.

Can a daughter get an AMEN!?

AMEN!

#elderlycare #momsinthehouse #takingcareofmom #parentalcare #agingparents

Sniffles and the Change of Weather...

If you reside in an area of the country where there are four seasons, do you find that when the seasons change, you usually get a cold and the sniffles?

Maybe it's not the seasonal changes, it could be the little 4 and 1 year old rug rats that visit who could be described as the cutest ball of germs on the planet.... hmmm, I may be onto something.

The weekend before last, I had the joy of having my grandsons with me.  The older one, Dylan, had a cold and his voice sounded like someone else was living inside him.  He didn't have any complaints, no not feeling wells, no I feel sick, no I can't swallow... he was perfectly fine except for this new voice from within... but you could tell, he was fighting a ccccccooooollllllddddddd!

Fast forward to the following Thursday night, it was as if someone had a 'cold' switch and flicked it on!  Before dinner I was feeling fine, okie-dokie, peachy, honkey dorey.... but by the time I was finished dinner, I noticed a slight scratchiness to my throat... ahem, ahem, ahem.... rut roh!

Those gorgeous germs had been transfered to me by my adorable grands!  Dagnabbit!

So my time last weekend was spent in bed, tired, sleepy and full of phlem.  Plus I had a slight headache to boot!  Can you say this weekend sucks... beautiful weather and I am stuck in bed... heck, I didn't wake up and go downstairs until 3:15pm!!! YIKES!

Sunday I did force myself to get up, dressed and out of the house... even with that nagging headache... I know it was a sinus headache, just the way it lingered... but I did have phlem and I did have a runny nose.

Hey, wait a minute, isnt' this called It's Not Always ApParent???? or did I change the name to It's Not Always About Me????... naw, this is where the parent enters the story... hold your horses peeps!

So as you know, my faithful followers (all zippo of you), mom now lives with me... so she too was here when the boys spent the weekend... she too loves these little germ monsters to death and they love her too.... so she too was exposed to the nasty germs....

Well, as luck would have it, she's developed the cold this week... and has phlem and is coughing and nasal drip too!  So what?  Well, as you may recall, this whole 'what to do about mom' dilemma started when mom was hospitalized in March... that was because her meds were not adminstered and taken correctly but... the hospital stay before that one was because she got a cold that turned into pneumonia...

I'll have to keep an eye on her to make sure she continues to expel the phlem v. sucking it down.... don't need a hospital stay...

So, knowing that mom doesn't eat as she should either and has this cold, has anyone out there who's cared for their elderly parent in this situation have any ideas on how to keep her healthy under the circumstances?

#elderlycare #lovemom #momsinthehouse #momcare #itsnotalwaysapparent #howtodealwithagingparents #agingparents

So It's Been Placed on the Market...

And while awaiting the MLS posting, 

the realtor sent a message that it's

We may settle in early December!

Can I get a Whoo Hoo!

#eldercare, #momsmovedin, #momsinthehouse, #lovemom

730 Is Just About on the Market... Can You Say Hooray?!?!?!?!?!!?

Hip, hip, hooray!

Had the realtor over, mom signed the paperwork and all's that left is for us to go over the Seller's Property Disclosure Statement and return to realtor... then it's officially placed on the MLS and it's up for sale.

We priced it to sell and hope that there's some traffic early and it sells quickly.  It would be such a great feeling to get this sold and mom have a nice cushion to spend on herself!

 

As you might expect, getting this house ready and on the market has been the monkey on our collective backs and we're just about ready to sling that chimp across the room!Keep your fingers cross it sells for asking price and fast too!

#eldercare, #momsmovedin, #momsinthehouse, #lovemom

And She'll Have Fun, Fun, Fun...

Mom 'works' on most Thursdays...


Actually she volunteers at 'The Attic', a not-for-profit shop of gently used clothing and household items.  Once located in our county seat, it moved to a location in my sister's neighborhood about 4 years ago.  


One of her very best friends, who's older than mom, also works there and they have for years.  It is run by Sister, but the organization that benefits from 'The Attic's' proceeds develop unique, innovative services for people with disabilities. 


Typically the work day starts about mid-day and they have their lunch in the back room. 

Today was like all the other days...


As mom was in the back room, someone came into the store asking if anyone owned a bluish, silverish car out front and held a piece of it in her hands.  That's right folks, it was part of the car that had come off when this dear lady hit mom's car in the parking lot.


Long story short, police came wrote a report, auto insurance info was exchanged and there was minimal damage... a small dent and couple of scratches... oh and the moulding that runs along the base of the front fender...


My sister called me to ask how bad the damage was... and I had no idea, mom had not told me about the accident.  I took a few pics but our local repair guy had already place the moulding back onto the car and the scratches were simply that, scratches.  Not sure that any further work needs to be done.... afterall, it's a 1996 purple T-Bird...


And she'll have fun, fun, fun 'til her daddy takes her T-Bird away!

Closing in on Placing Mom's House on the Market

Have to share this incident with you that happened this weekend with Mom.  I wonder if anyone else has had such an experience with their aging parent.

On Friday, I had 'Sunshine Hours' at work.  This is during the summer, we extend our normal daily hours Monday through Thursday so we can take a half day on Friday.  It's not every week, we get to do this five weeks out of 10 weeks during the summer.

On a side note, and for reference, my husband went to Johns Hopkins' for their pain management treatment and will be there for the next six weeks.  You read that right, SIX weeks.  He left this past Thursday and should be back home at the end of September.  Anyhow... back to this week's incident...

Since hubby's away, the banking is left up to me.  He still gets his worker's comp payment in check format for a myriad of reasons.  This necessitates me doing the banking in his absence.  Mind you, I hardly ever step foot in a bank as most, if not all of my banking is done electronically.

Once I got home, I saw the check arrived and proceeded to 'do the banking'.  

Once done, I decided to take a spin by mom's house since the garage work should have been completed by now.  We had a new cement trough and two new garage doors installed to make it presentable.  Front was painted, still need to do the side... it looks so much better than it did.

When I turned onto her street, not only was mom's car in the driveway, but my older brother's car was there too.  I stopped.

Fast forward to Friday, 4pm and mom ready to leave but wanted to stop for a milkshake... I found that she had not eaten anything so I suggested we head to a local place to get some grub.  By the time we were finished and reenergized, it was just after 5pm.  There was no way mom would be driving back to my sister's place on a Friday in the summer at rush hour... NO WAY!  I had her come to my place until rush hour passed.  Called and left message for my sister letting her know my plan.

7pm, it's getting late...Mom's energy diminished and she was relaxing while Jeopardy was on.  I nudged her to get ready to head back 'home' to my sisters since it would be dark soon.  One thing mom does not do is drive in the dark... headlights bother her eyes.  Finally at 7:45pm I got her to rise and head to her car.

She backed out of the driveway but instead of turning towards the main road to head to my sisters, she went in the opposite direction.  Even though I was waving my arms like an airline ground crew member directing a plane into a gate, I waved her in the direction of the main road.  Mom waved back, goodbye!

By 9:30pm I was tired and headed to bed.  At 10:30pm, dear sister called saying where's mom? Is she at your house?  Mind you, unlike me a homebody, on Fridays sis and hubby head out to their regular watering hole and unwind from their work week.  That's about 6 hours of unwinding... and she is rather bossy to begin with!  Her household is louder than mine... they tend to have heated discussions and short tempers.  I could hear her hubby saying, "Her bed's cold and never been slept in.  The car's not on the street! Where did she go?"

About 20 minutes later, my sister after leaving a voicemail for my brother to see if mom ventured to his house, called me back to say she talked to mom... she was at her house.

Holy Crapola!  Our minds began to think of her off the road in a ravine or something. Thank God she's alright.

Needless to say, my sister lit into mom and mom, in her fashion, hung up on her because she didn't need to nor wanted to listed to my sister drop the F'bomb' left and right!

I called mom and told her we were concerned and she needs to let us know if she's going to steer in another direction (pun intended, sorry it's lame) than the planned route.  She apologized and didn't even give that a thought.

Not that mom has said anything, but I get the feeling her stay at my sister's is anything but optimal.  Heck, as we cleaned out her closets and a couple of drawers with her remaining clothes yesterday mom looked at me when all was empty and said, "I think I may come back here and stay, I kinda like it here!"

OMG!  We cracked up laughing!

#elderlycare, #takingcareofmom, #agingparents, #raisingmom

Annual Summer Vaca With My Brohter's Family

Every August, my younger brother and his family head down to Avalon, NJ for their summer vacation.
Every year, they always have welcomed us to come for a few days.
I usually bring my mother along, this year was no different.

I worked until 3pm on Wednesday (from home) and closed up shop so I could pick up mom from my sister's house... her current abode.   After stopping at the bank, I drove to my sister's and picked up mom.

Hubby had a treatment on Wednesday and we're awaiting Johns Hopkins' call for him to head down there for his 6 week stint to adjust his meds so he decided to stay home this year.

My daughter and her kids, my other daughter and her friend and me and mom all descended upon my brother, his wife and family at their vacation house.

Weather was picture perfect and we spent Thursday on the beach.  Water was wonderful, low tide and we were out far enough to the sandbar and found tons of seashells that far out while being only up to our ankles in water.

Mom did not join us for the beach day, deciding instead to stay at home and catch up on her Agatha Christie book.  I think she was enjoying the peace and quiet with us all at the beach.  Can't blame her.

Later in the afternoon, we did some antique shopping but alas, the mirror I wanted was no longer in the shop... I saw it last year and had secretly hoped that no one had purchased it so I could bargain them down on the price.  It would have been perfect in my kitchen eating area on the wall.... beveled round mirror, off white beadboard similar to the beadboard that surrounded the eating area and a couple of shelves that I could display some type of awesome art or nicknacks.... Ah, it was not meant to be.

I noticed how mom trailed behind... a little slower than in previous years, but meandering nonetheless.  After our antique shop, we met up with my daughter and her friend and went to another shop that includes multiple vendors' items within it.

We shopped, said Isn't this nice about 1000 times and headed back to the house for dinner.

All of us crowded around the kitchen table and played this really politically incorrect game known as Cards Against Humanity and laughed our asses off as we made awful sentences with the cards.  All in all, we had a lot of fun and it will create some fun memories of time spent with Nana (mom).

Thursday saw mom and I heading down to Cape May and Washington Street Mall for some shopping.  We hadn't been there for a couple of years so it was nice to spend the afternoon walking from shop to shop looking at the merchandise.

Mom is a little bit slower and not as 'with it' as she's been in the past and sometimes I found myself cringing and saying to myself, OMG... but I persisted and thought I'd rather have to be with her and be more patient than to have do walk the mall myself.

Towards the end of our shopping trip, I could see mom starting to tire so we decided to grab some grub and get some energy.  Ended up getting a hot dog, chips and soda... just enough to get some wind beneath our wings.  By the time we were finished, it was nearly time to get back to the car to beat the meter maid.

As we got up, mom still had her drink but only one strap of her pocketbook made it over her shoulder.  She had a napkin in the other hand and was attempting to correct the strap when she dropped her soda and it spilled on the ground right next to another customer.

The gentleman was very nice and luckily nothing went on him, however, mom was apologetic.  I tried to coax her out of the eating area and towards the car...

I begin to see and notice little things that cumulatively are showing her age progression.  She's not as steady on her feet, she speaks really softly, shes slower than in the past and she needs to have things repeated... and sometimes she forgets that she already knew what we already talked about.

I do my best to give her the respect, dignity and time she deserves.  Afterall, she was very patient with me while bringing me up, I need to do the same as our roles are reversing and her needs increase.

Anyone else have stories they can share about the transition they went through while watching their parent(s) age?  Thoughts, ideas and comments welcomed.